Are you in the “messy middle”?
I come to you somewhere from the “messy middle”. I heard this expression on Glennon Doyle’s podcast, We Can Do Hard Things. The memoirist and podcaster is documenting her diagnosis and recovery from anorexia and she’s sharing her story from the “messy middle”. What she means is she hasn’t had her “ta-da” moment yet. She’s not out the other side of this particular journey; the destination – the shape of her recovery – is still unknown.
Her decision to share her story before it has a neat ending really stuck with me. I’ve taught a ton of storytelling workshops in my time as a speechwriter and when it comes to discussing structure I talk about what makes up the beginning, middle, and end of a story. We’re taught in school that every story needs these three elements, but not what they actually are. Often the stories students share meander off somewhere in the middle, and we work together to figure out the end of the narrative. So, this idea of sharing from the “messy middle” feels pretty novel to me.
Since I left my corporate job people keep asking, eyes brimming with expectation:
“How’s it going? Is everything amazing?” And the speechwriter in me wants to have this beautiful narrative that says deciding to leave was hard, but I’ve got life all figured out now: I’m in my happily ever after ending. The truth is more complicated. Leaving my job was the first step into creating the life I want, so maybe this isn’t the “messy middle” at all. As a dear friend said, “I’m not sure you’re in the middle. I think you might be at the complicated start.”
What does the "messy middle" look like? So far, I have:
Adopted a kitten called Dorothy, who is a complete delight and a total lunatic.
Played squash for the first time in 8 years… and could barely walk the next day.
Tried really hard not to freak out about money (keeping it real).
Nursed a husband through shoulder surgery and two feverish children for three straight weeks (and watched a LOT of Bluey).
Booked some training and speaking gigs I’m really excited about.
And the thing I’ve learned about the “messy middle”? There are a lot of other women there with me, trying to figure out what life looks like in a kind-of post-pandemic, sort-of back-to-the-office, with not that much childcare, possibly-on-the-brink-of-a-recession world. So many other women I know have handed in their notice, been laid off, or changed careers. They’ve walked away from corporate jobs and they’re trying to figure out what (the hell) comes next.
If you’ve read this far and you’d like to know more about this adventure, I’d love it if you signed up to my mailing list or shared this with someone you know who’s in the “messy middle” right now too. I’ll keep you posted on where this adventure leads and hopefully share some useful stuff along the way.
Thanks for your support. It means the world.
